secret-behind-18-years of marriage

This week was my 18 year wedding anniversary.

We met when we were 11.

We have been a couple since we were 14.

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Sometimes I sit in awe of that.

How is it I can still enjoy his company?  Feel in love? Feel excited when I see his car pull in the driveway?

It wasn’t always this way.

There was a time, not too long ago, where I was seriously doubting our ability to make it.

There was a time where I looked at him and wondered it we would make it thru.

But somehow we have.

As I was writing my husband’s anniversary card I pondered the thought.

What is our secret? Why have we been able to weather grief, illness, arguments, family, finances, etc. . . while so many other couples have not?

Here is my answer to that. . .

I believe our secret comes down to our mutual desire to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

It comes from our desire to always improve our marriage. Our desire to get better at communication, connection, intimacy, arguments.  We continually strive to learn how to be the best spouse that we can be.

That is our secret.

We certainly don’t have it all figured out.

If there is one thing that you can count on in marriage is that there will always be challenges that you will face. 

As soon as you think you have figured it out . . .

WHAM . . . out jumps another hurdle you must cross.

I know there will come a time in the future where I will question our ability to make it.  Where the path will be so rough that we will feel blind as we try to navigate our way thru.

We don’t have it all figured out.

We hurt each other.

We make mistakes.

We fight.

We yell.

We cry.

We still have so much to learn.

But, I take great comfort in knowing that we both strive to be the best we can for each other.  Even though we don’t have all the answers we keep trying.

That’s it.

That’s the big secret (actually not such a big secret after all).

There are endless things that can improve a relationship, but all the books and strategies in the world won’t help if the ambition to work towards improvement isn’t there.

Strive to be the best spouse that you can be.  It doesn’t mean that you are perfect or that you do everything right.  It simply means that you make the effort.

Put in the effort. 

Keep trying.

Just the simple desire to improve and get better will take you far both in marriage and in life.

Wishing my husband a very happy anniversary.  Thank you for continually working to be the best husband that you could possibly be! I’m one very lucky girl 🙂

Tammy

Married-and-Naked

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