There is one thing that I newly vowed to improve in my marriage because I have recently realized something that I wasn’t very happy about.
Although I would, overall, consider myself a kind spouse, sometimes, I have to admit, I’m far nicer to my kids than I am to my husband.
There, I said it.
Painful, but true.
The other morning, I was lying in bed postponing the inevitable start to my day and thinking about the previous night.
It had been a normal evening in the Greene household.
I was finishing up making dinner and calling everyone down to the table.
As usual, my daughter was the first to the table, my son was pleading to play a few more minutes on his video game and my husband was nowhere to be found.
I was irritated.
I kindly asked my son to stop the game and I yelled up the stairs to my husband, in an impatient and frustrated tone, again telling him dinner was ready.
Once he arrived, we proceeded to eat a nice dinner together that was filled with laughter and tales from the day.
As soon as we were done, I got up from the table and started washing dishes.
Again, I was irritated.
Why hadn’t my husband jumped up sooner to do the dishes himself?
After a couple of minutes, he asked if he could help me.
“No,” I snapped. “I’ve got it.” Then I patiently turned to my kids and asked them to help clear the table.
For the rest of the evening, I was short with my husband – though, admittedly he did nothing wrong. I was just tired from my day and taking it out on him.
He often gets the brunt of my fatigue. My fatigue turns me into a short-tempered and distant wife.
However, even though I am no less tired or irritated with them, I always make a conscious effort to use a kind voice to my kids. It is rare I lose my patience with them.
I lay in bed replaying the night and realized that I had been so patient and kind to my kids but, sadly, I couldn’t say that I had been as patient and kind to my husband.
In thinking about that, I realized that wasn’t such an unusual occurrence.
I always try to show extra patience and kindness to my kids. But, often times, I do not show the same amount of patience and kindness to my husband.
I’m embarrassed to admit it.
I’m sure it stems from the thought that my husband is an adult and I shouldn’t have to ask things repeatedly of him. He should just know and do what I need him to. . . right?
This is unfair thinking.
The truth is . . .
Our spouses deserve the same patience and kindness that we show our children.
They deserve a kind tone.
They deserve a little extra patience.
If something is bugging you, they deserve to be made aware in a respectful way.
Can you imagine how different marriage could be if we were all as respectful to our spouses as we are to our children?
Let’s be honest. I would never talk to my kids as I sometimes do to my husband.
Upon realizing this, I have made a vow to be more patient and kind to my husband and to try to be better about cutting him some slack.
It is important to be mindful of how we treat our spouses.
Ask yourself, do you treat your spouse with the same kindness and patience that you show your children?
If the answer to that is no. Then, change is in order.
Now that you are aware of this, be assertive in making a change.
Be more conscious of your tone, your words and your patience level with your spouse.
It is imperative that we treat each other with respect and kindness.
I believe one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is not that we can’t make mistakes.
No, I make mistakes in my marriage all the time.
The true secret to a healthy and long marriage is to look within yourself and be willing to actively grow, change, and improve as an individual.
And a happy marriage will follow.