A bunch of scrambled game board pieces with letters imprinted on them, focusing on Words with a shallow depth of field.

A bunch of scrambled game board pieces with letters imprinted on them, focusing on Words with a shallow depth of field.

We are a society of words.  Words seem to come easy to us.  They are endless, especially in this day and age of social media.  We seem to have no problem speaking our opinions of celebrities, talking about the hottest political topic or even sharing personal details about potty training our toddlers.

Words have extreme power.  The three simple words “I love you,” can make you feel on top of the world while two quietly spoken words, “It’s over” can bring your world crashing down.

The spoken word is an implicitly influential tool.  It seems, however, that this tool is highly underestimated or misused in our relationships. It seems easy to use words that hurt or criticize, the ones we love most, while the most important words go unsaid.

Words of love, kindness and appreciation can have an incredibly powerful impact on the longevity and happiness of our relationships.

Here are 4 things we should say more often to the ones we love:

Thank you
“Thank You” is probably one of the most underused phrases and yet one of the most powerful.  Make a conscious effort to show your appreciation.  Everyone is happier when they feel appreciated.  Don’t let gratitude go unspoken.  No matter how big or small, it is important to let your significant other know that what they do does not go unnoticed.  Say, “Thank you” everyday!  “Thank you for doing the dishes.”  “Thank you for taking out the trash.”  “Thank you for working so hard for our family.” Those two small words will work wonders on your relationship.

You Look Wonderful
We all know that receiving a compliment feels good, but a recent study backs up the science behind this phenomenon.  This study performed  at the National Institute for Physiological Sciences showed that people perform tasks faster, calmer and with better quality when they were given direct compliments.  Compliments have tremendous power over how someone feels.  Don’t underestimate the power of a simple, “You look wonderful today.”  Any heart would feel lighter after hearing that.

I desire you
Every person on this planet has an innate need to feel desired.  We all want to feel wanted, but often “desire” gets buried under a mountain of stress and responsibilities.  Take charge and don’t let that happen.  Do some flirting, take initiation with being intimate, and most of all, tell your significant other that you desire them. Say out loud what you find sexy about them. Tell them how attracted you are to them.  Make sure they have no reason to question your desire for them.

How Can I Help?
Ego-centrism a psychological trait found in children and adolescents.  But it seems that even in adulthood we have a hard time stepping out of our own world to consider the needs of others.  This is even true in our relationships.  To stop the tendency of self-centeredness reach out to your significant other to offer help.  Notice your spouse seeming a little overwhelmed?  Ask them, “How can I help you?”  Do they have a big project coming up that they are worried about?  Ask, “How can I support you?”   Stepping up to offer a helping hand can go a long way to making someone feel loved and cared for.

Author Natsuki Takaya said, “Because even the smallest of words can be the ones to hurt you, or save you.”

Be on the saving end.  Don’t let the most powerful and influential words go unsaid. Save your relationship with the power of appreciative, complimentary, desirable, and helpful words.

Tammy