Recently Husband and I went for a drive. I wanted him to take me by a house he used to live in.
I hadn’t seen this house before. It was in a neighboring town about 20 minutes from where we live now.
There is something very intimate and special about seeing where someone grew up. It gives insight into a person’s life that words cannot.
The home of his childhood is in a lower income area. Kind of run down and unkempt.
As we pulled up to the little house, I listened to him share stories of his time there.
I tried to imagine a little boy running thru the yard with his brother. A little boy whose parents divorced at age 5. A little boy who moved around a lot. A little boy whose single mother worked tirelessly to put food on the table and keep a slightly tired roof over his head.
As I sat there listening to him I couldn’t help but think, “We grew up so differently, you and I.”
Actually, I sat in awe of the differences.
Although I have heard his stories and reminisced with him before, seeing it for myself put things in a whole new perspective.
And here is the big AHA thought that came to my head;
NO WONDER!
NO WONDER we have struggled in certain areas of our marriage. We grew up so differently.
NO WONDER we had such a huge learning curve! We grew up so differently.
NO WONDER we argued so often over our differing views of money. We grew up so differently.
NO WONDER I struggle sometimes to understand his viewpoint. We grew up so differently.
No Wonder!
What we experience in our childhood shapes who we are as adults. It defines our viewpoints. It lays the foundation for how we love and how we view money. It helps create our fears, our dreams and so much more.
The way he grew up is no better or worse than me. It is just different.
Seeing this house was a gift to me.
It is a gift to be able to get to know the root of who my partner is.
By gaining a little understanding of my husband’s childhood and past, it will give our disagreements a whole new mindset.
Discovering where our differences stem from, gives us insight into how to navigate our disagreements better.
This AHA experience opened us up to conversation about our childhoods and the distinct differences we experienced. It helped us find understanding and empathy for each other.
It has helped us find an appreciation for the lessons our youth taught us.
For it is those lessons that helped us develop into the people we are today, and for that, we are incredibly grateful.
Tammy
Married And Naked
