I have told you already what an incredibly challenging year this has been for me and my family, thus far.
Both of my parents have been ill, have had surgeries and spent very extended periods of time in the hospital, as well as needed follow up care at home. Needless to say, it has been one of the most challenging 5 months I have ever experienced.
Luckily, everyone’s health is back on track and life has returned to normal.
But, let me tell you. . . stress like that can wreak absolute havoc on a marriage. It definitely did on mine.
When life puts that much weight on your shoulders, even the tiniest unseen cracks can become ginormous rifts.
After about a week into my Mom’s hospitalization (with three more unexpected ones to come), the tiny unseen cracks were beginning to show.
I quickly learned that . . .
tremendous stress can weaken even a strongest of marital foundations.
Luckily, over the last few years, Husband and I have really worked on our communication skills. We have practiced being accountable in our arguments, recognizing triggers and talking about how we feel.
Good communication skills was truly the key to keeping our marriage from crashing and burning this year.
Don’t be led to think that we didn’t fight. Boy, did we fight. Some fights that were huge and epic.
But, because of what we have learned about how to communicate, we always came back to that. It may have started like a huge fight, but then we would remember how were were supposed to be communicating with each other and we would change our tactic. Sometimes hours later, but hey, we always got around to it. That’s what counts.
That is what saved us. Lots and lots of talking things out. Good, healthy, healing conversations.
And, believe it or not, our marriage feels stronger than it did before all the stress began. We feel closer and more connected than ever.
It’s hard for me to believe.
Next week I’ll share with you the 5 Steps To Better Communication With Your Spouse.
In the meantime, you can check out this article on 4 Steps to Becoming A Better Listener for a good start toward better communication.
What is one thing that has saved your marriage?
Tammy
Married and Naked
Hi Tammy,
I’m so happy that your family is once again healthy. I’m looking forward to reading your next post on communication skills. In my marriage (almost 20 years) we had some really bad fights. Every time I heard the words “We need to talk” I instantly went on the defensive… because I knew that I was going to hear a litany of grievances and feelings that were beyond my ability to deal with.
I’ve since then learned how to listen with love and infer the hidden needs in the words my wife was saying to me. Then I do whatever I can to BE the solution to her needs. Now that I do this daily… I no longer hear “We need to talk”
Thanks for posting this… and I’m glad your family is out of the hospital.
Thank you for sharing your story. Such a wealth of advice from your years of marriage. I appreciate you letting us in.
Tammy, thank you so much for stopping by my blog. I am so happy you did. Communication, understanding, and listening is something my husband and I are really dedicated to working on right now. It’s a shame it gets down to considering divorce before you really start to put in the “work”, but it’s life.
Glad I found your blog. xx
Glad you found me too 🙂
So true about what you say. We often wait until it is almost too late before we start putting in the real work. Hoping you and your husband are on a good path now. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting!