Meet the Couple – Ron and Courtney Schilckenmeyer

Date of Your Marriage – 03/04/2007

How Long Did You Date Before Getting Married?
Two years, but engaged after 6 months

How Did You Meet?
I met Ron on MySpace. He was the only one I added to my page that I didn’t already know. I was working at an amusement park and we all had MySpace to keep in touch and to contact each other for shift changes and things like that. For some reason he asked to join my page and I allowed it, but he never said a word to me. One day I posted a sassy quote about boys and he wrote “Well you haven’t met me yet…” That peaked my interest and we started talking from there. I was so nervous about meeting someone online and totally against it but we talked on the phone for hours on end each day getting to know each other and eventually went out on a date. We have so much in common and have such strong family values, I had never met a guy like him!!! I am truly blessed!

What Do You Love Most About Being Married?
I love having a partner to walk through life with. We have had our ups and downs like everyone has. But, knowing that we have each other to lean on in hard times, or to celebrate with in good times, that’s something so special that I treasure! I also love how close he is to his family like I am to mine! We see our parents all the time and we love spending time with them! I have a tight bond with my mom who was my maid of honor at our wedding and Ron’s dad was his best man. We work hard to make sure our family is a priority.

What Do You Find Most Challenging About Being Married?
Our first year was just the initial adjustment of living together. I had lived out on my own before but Ron had not so I had to adjust to his style and he had to adjust to mine and to being out on his own in general. We have grown so much together because of it! For me the challenge was me going back to school and not getting the pay I was use to. I was raised by a single mom and I am a very independent woman. I have worked since I was 16 so I have always been able to financially support the things I wanted to do and the choices I made. Having to join accounts and having Ron be the supporter of the family while I took a student job paying 1/4 of what I was used to earning felt to me like I wasn’t contributing to our marriage. Ron is such a wonderful support and always encourages me to do what I have a passion to do but not being able to financially contribute what I’m used to has been a tough adjustment for me.

How Do You Resolve Arguments?
I don’t believe in the philosophy “Don’t go to bed angry.” I think sometimes we need however much time we need to figure out how we feel about the situation and when we are ready to talk, we talk. One thing we always make sure of is that we ALWAYS tell each other “I love you” before bed. In fact if you spend a day at our house you will see we say it A LOT! Even if we are just passing through a room, we say “I love you” and usually give each other a high-five. I’m not even sure how it started but it’s just what we do. Whenever we think about it, we say it. I love that about us. I am a firm believer in telling the people important in your life how you feel about them, we just never know what tomorrow will bring. We do argue just like everyone else, but we give each other time to cool off and we talk about it when we are both ready. It’s definitely a give and take but we work through it and come up with a solution to move forward. We are a team and we work through our problems as a team.

What Didn’t You Know About Marriage Until You Were Married Yourself?
I think people don’t inform the younger generations about how much work a marriage takes. It all appears so blissful and many times it is, but when it gets tough I think we need to educate how to work through it. I also never knew how much I would hate doing the dishes. Now that we have a son (almost 2 yrs old) it seems like there are so many more dishes! I also never knew how amazing it would be to start a family of our own. Being a preschool teacher I see the families of my students but nothing could have prepared me for how wonderful it has been to have our son and our own little family.

How Do You and Your Spouse Stay Connected?
We have good quality family time. Time each day when the TV is off, the phones are put away and the computers are off and it’s just us sitting on the living room floor playing and laughing together. That is my most cherished time! I love watching my son and husband laugh together and play. That makes me fall in love with him all over again! We also love going camping as a family and doing little weekend getaways. We don’t get to do them as often as we would like to but having that time away from technology and distractions brings us back to center.

What Has Surprised You About Marriage?
How selfless you have to be to be successful at it. You always have to take into consideration the other person and that’s something I work on daily. It is important for me to ask him about his day so he can share that with me and I do the same. It’s important to ask him “How do you feel about that?” Whatever “that” may be. I need to make sure I’m checking in with him to see if he needs support or encouragement or whatever the case may be. And he does the same with me. I say this all the time, but we are a team and we handle life as a team.

What Is The Most Important Thing You Find In Keeping A Marriage Strong?
Honesty. You have to be honest. I like to please people and he is a good balance for me reminding me that sometimes I need to be honest and stand up for myself. It’s the same in marriage. If something is wrong, or isn’t working, then we are honest. After my son was born I was so busy with him and I went back to school and I wasn’t as affectionate and we weren’t always telling each other “I love you” and my mind was so many million other places I just let it slip. Ron was honest with me and we sat down and talked about how that was such a strong part of our bond that I needed to pay a little more attention to. It was as simple as that! Problem solved! He was right and he was honest about it. It’s so easy to get caught up in life that a marriage can drift to the side. Helping it stay on track with honesty is a key for us.

What Advice Would You Give Newlyweds?
It’s about working together. Everyone has a different opinion about what a wife and a husband should be and do. Don’t let the outside fool you, even the most “Perfect” couples have problems. It’s how you work through those problems that determine your future. If your willing to work hard, consider the other person, and stick it out through the tough times, there will be so, so, so many wonderful times ahead! And don’t be afraid to talk to your girlfriends! Chances are you aren’t the only one going through those things! Girls nights are important too!!!