How often do you play with your spouse?
The honest answer, for me, is not that often. Why is that?
Last night, something sparked in me. I don’t know what, but suddenly I was feeling very playful. Poking, prodding, irritating, just being downright silly. My husband was wondering who had abducted his wife and replaced her with this lighthearted playful woman? At the same moment that he was calling me a freak, he was laughing and teasing with me. It was fun. Later I started to think about the art of playing. Why don’t I do it more often?
When we were first married, long before children, we used to play a lot. We would take long bike rides and play catch in the front yard. We played scrabble all the time. I know, for some, Scrabble is the last thing they would want to play. Those people have never played with my husband. He used to make me laugh so hard at the letters that he would try to pass off as words and the definitions he would have ready when challenged. We would often have wrestling matches to death…. ok not to the death but to the point that you felt you were going to die from laughing so hard.
We have two young kids. I play a lot with them. With my children I have no problem pretending I am on a magic carpet ride to Grammy’s house or that I am a yellow Lamborghini racing to the finish line. With my children it is easy.
Truth be told, at the end of the day, I am usually beyond tired. My brain is fried from work, my patience is at its limit with the dog. If my son asks me one more question I feel like my head is going to burst (then he asks the question, surprising me, my head actually doesn’t burst). I have had it with my 8 year old’s homework. Basically, I am done for the day. Down for the count. The second that we get the kids to bed we both make a beeline to the couch to veg out in front of a recorded SNL or a rented movie. And once I am there, I feel like I never want to move again. Each day is a race to the finish, it seems, and completely exhausting.
I guess that explains my lack of desire to play more.
But something is wrong with that picture. I need to play more. It is not fair that the kids get all the fun.
Laughter makes me feel happier and laughing with someone makes me feel closer to them.
This morning, when my husband woke up he was still smirking at me from our silliness last night. Remembering our fun from the night before and feeling connected from it has started our day off right.
So I am going to challenge myself to find another moment to play this week. Whether it be a board game, a wrestling match or naked tag ( we did that once a long time ago. Now that was fun! ) I am going to start making an effort to be more playful and silly. I need to lighten up a little.
Today’s lesson to a better marriage: Don’t forget to play
Do you play?
Tammy
I have only recently discovered what it means to be playful with my husband. Up until a couple of months ago, I could be playful with anyone but him–though he had no trouble being that way with me! I worried too much about his opinion and about making a fool of myself. Once I finally lightened up a bit, I realized what a connection with him that I was missing out on, and am now determined to abuse the privilege of poking him whenever possible.
That is so fantastic. I look forward to following your lead. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. Have fun!
Although we’ve had less time to play this past year, with settling in to a new place, my husband’s new job, we still love to play together. We don’t have children yet, so we obviously have some more time for each other, and since 4 years of our relationship were long-distance, we relish the time together even more. We’ll play card games, chess, volleyball, when we’re in the pool together we’ll imitate sea animals (I think people around us might wonder how old we are, but that just adds to the silliness!)…and I’ll be getting him initiated to scrabble soon! I love the silly moments we have together – they make life so much happier and so much more fun.
Love the sea animal game. We should all act a little more childlike I think. You know you are on the right track when others are looking at you like you are crazy 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to read my posts and comment. Really appreciate it.
This is very insightful and true. Husbands need play time, too. I think I will tackle mine tonight when he gets home. Thank you for your bubble of inspiration!
You are so welcome for the inspiration. Hope you got the opportunity to follow thru on your plan 🙂
You described the problem so well, and offered such a simple solution at the same time. It doesn’t take that much effort to have a little fun, and the fun can make us feel more relaxed. I find that something like Scrabble or a few games of pool is enough to counteract a lot of stress, because those kinds of activities require complete attention. Pillow fights are good, too.
Great post, Tammy!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post. I know you are a busy man with your own blog, so that means a lot. It makes me very happy that a writer such as yourself would compliment my post. Thank you so much!
Pillow fight, huh? Now that is one that I have not tried. I will have to get on that 🙂 Thanks!!!
Just don’t use those water-filled pillows. You could kill someone with one of those.
Thank you for the warning!!
NIce Post Tammy… reminded me of how small little time spent in playing can enliven us up – even after a tired day. Thank you!
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. My favorite moments are when my husband and I are just being silly. Playfulness keeps me connected and happy. Making it a priority is the challenge for me.