Recently I went to a wedding.
The officiant of this wedding had some advice for the newlyweds.
He told them, “The secret to a long, happy marriage is self sacrifice.”
This, of course, got me thinking.
Is that true? Did I agree with this advice?
I thought about it so much that I decided to put it out to Married and Naked Facebook followers to see what they thought. Did they agree with the officiant?
Here were some of the answers I received:
“In a way, yes. But of both people are working together toward the same goal, it shouldn’t be much of a sacrifice. On the other hand, if each party is self sacrificing for the other, you come together. I think it really depends on how you read into it.”
“I would say “service.” Sacrifice indicates going without. When you both live to serve each other and meet each other’s needs you definitely don’t go without. You get filled with love, hope an joy.”
“The word sacrifice actually means “to make sacred” so by giving of ourselves to our spouses we make our marriages sacred.”
“I totally and completely….. AGREE. !!! Plain and simple everyone. Learn it, practice it !!!!”
“No. The key is mutual respect for your partner.”
“Hell no, if you don’t take care of yourself first, you can’t make your partner happy.”
“I see what he’s saying, but I think service is the secret to a good marriage. When you focus on how you can each serve each other – the focus is not on what you gain but on how you give.”
“That’s what the judge told my husband and I at our wedding.”
“Yes I think nothing in this life says I love you more than “going without” for someone you love and seeing the one you love do it for you. My husband can buy gifts be sweet even clean my whole house and it still don’t mean half as much as when we’re outside both cold as can be and he takes his Hoody off for me. He’d rather freeze than see me freeze. That says I love you more than a anything. I mean that’s what love is about denying yourself for another. You have become one so in truth giving up something for them does so much for you.”
“Yes I agree because if you both self sacrifice then its an equal relationship and you both are truly happy.”
Love all of the awesome feedback that I got.
What do you think? Is self sacrifice the secret to a long and happy marriage?
Let me know in the comments below.
Tammy
Married and Naked
This is one of those ideas that needs to be viewed as a “truth in tension.”
Putting your spouse first, whether it be sacrifice, service or just focusing more on their needs than your own, is an important ingredient to a happy, healthy marriage. The “tension” to hold this truth against is that you should still voice your own needs and desires in a non-demanding way. Assume that your spouse really does want to love you well, so help them see what that would look like! Often times we try to love like we want to be loved, and that usually doesn’t work, because men and women are often so different in their core needs.
Very neat post.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome. Depasquale