Here is what I know for sure. Life is a constant lesson in progress. This week I want to focus on a touchy subject, weight. My weight to be specific.
As many people I know, (now that I think about it, all of the people I know) weight is a constant issue and focus. At any given time, I am either feeling bad about my weight, trying to lose pregnancy weight (for the last 4 years), trying to maintain weight, battling lack of motivation, or I am trying to suppress a severe lack of desire to excercise.
Sound familiar?
This year I put back on the 8 lbs I lost last year. To some that will sound like a lot, to some very little. For me, it is a lot. Really, it is not even about the scale. I am not so much into focusing on reaching a certain number. What matters to me is how I feel.
How do I feel lately? Not so great. I have let some things go this year, and it shows.
So here is the question, what does my weight have to do with my marriage? Well, a lot.
I have the sweetest husband. He is full of compliments. Always tells me how beautiful I am or how sexy he thinks I am. He seems to desire me regardless of what the scale shows. Baffling sometimes, to be honest. How he can think my ass is sexy when I think of it as my worst features is beyond me. I am grateful nonetheless.
Much to his dismay, no matter how much he compliments me, it doesn’t change how I feel about myself. My confidence comes from within and even though I value what he says, so much, I know that what is most important is how I feel about myself.
Earlier this year. I felt good. I was exercising regularly, eating well (not dieting, just making good choices). I felt good in my clothes and when I looked in the mirror. All of this equates to confidence which equates to a much sexier wife. There is nothing hotter to my husband than when I feel good about myself. I am more playful. I don’t try to hide certain parts of my body as I hustle, naked, to the shower. I flaunt and flirt.
Not sexy, is when I try to walk backwards so as not to show my backside, or when I sweetly negate every complement my husband throws my way.
It is not a number. It is a feeling.
I believe in the saying, “love the skin you’re in.” But, I also believe that in order to love that skin, you must take care of it and do what makes you feel good about yourself. For me, I feel much more confident when I eat right and move.
I think that we all know that place where we feel our best. Whether it is 10 lbs heavier, 30 lbs lighter, a size 12, fitting back into those pre-pregnancy jeans, or right where you are at. Wherever that is, is where we want to be.
So why do most of us have such a hard time getting to that place? I don’t know. I think it is a conspiracy from the fast food places to make their french fries completely irresistible and by Dove chocolate to cleverly sweet talk its way into my pantry.
It is time to find my way back to the girl who feels good about her body. That puts priority on what makes her feel more confident in herself. That wants to dance naked in the daylight and strut confidently by my husband’s adoring eyes, bare butt and all.
There will always be things that I don’t particularly care for about my body. We all have those body parts that we would seriously consider trading in, if given the chance. But it is my body, for better or worse. So I might as well make the best of it.
I want my sexy back. My husband will thank me for it. Not because I am lighter or fitter, but because I am more confident in my self.
I have always worked well with taking things one step at a time. Small changes equate to big changes if you stick to them over long periods of time. Step one for me is to move! Just exercising for 20 – 30 minutes a day a few days a week does a world of difference for my confidence. My mood is better and I feel sexier and more confident in myself.
Time to strap on those tennis shoes and get this body moving again! Any type of movement, at this point will do.
I will report back and let you know how it is going.
In the meantime, what do you do to take care of your body? How does your confidence affect your marriage?
Marriage Lesson for Today – Take care of your body. Your confidence and marriage will thank you for it.
Tammy
I love this post. I know what you mean about relationships and feeling good about ourselves…it’s a strange relationship in some ways but we do need to be better at taking compliments and learn to view ourselves in the way they view us.
Very true. If I could view myself as my husband seems to view me, all would be right with the world 🙂 Why so many of us find it so hard to accept a compliment is beyond me. Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate it.
i love this post so much! its awesome, i feel exactly the same way. this year i put on a ton of weight about 12kgs.. an i felt so so terrible about myself. now Ive been dieting and back at gym for 3 weeks (4.5kgs down already) and my partner can see and feel the difference (excuse the pun)…
lovely meeting you and good luck
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it. Congrats on losing weight and more importantly feeling better about yourself. Keep going 🙂
I am right there with you! It absolutely is a feeling- for me, it’s an awareness that my midsection just feels larger. And it makes me completely self-conscious with my husband, despite the fact that it clearly does not affect how he sees me. You are so right- whatever amount of exercise you can get is a step in the right direction, and it almost instantly makes me feel better about myself. Something that I find helpful to remind myself (to paraphrase a quote from one of my favorite yoga DVDs): no matter how many times your plans to take better care of yourself haven’t worked out, this could be the time where it sticks! Best of luck!
I love the quote. It is so true. I often have that give up attitude if I don’t get it right one day. But it is important to remember that everyday is a new day and a fresh start to get back on track. Thank you for your comment!!
Hi,
I have to say I totally agree about the fact that what makes the difference is the way you feel about yourself. Sometimes the important thing is accepting our own imperfections because it helps us be better able to take the best care of ourselves – eating healthily can sometimes feel easier when we feel we deserve it and that it is doing us good, not just what we ought to do or some kind of punishment for not looking good enough.
As for relationships – its true that confidence brings sexiness but don’t forget to treasure those compliments even when you can’t understand them because they are gift to remind you when you don’t love yourself the unconditional .love of your beloved helps make those steps worthwhile
Take Care
So true, so true. How blessed I am to have a husband who always reminds me that how I see myself, isn’t necessarily, how everyone else sees me. And don’t get me wrong, I do love myself. I just don’t love the roll over the top of my jeans 🙂 And you are right about eating healthy. The second I start to look at it as a diet it starts to feel like punishment. I can’t do that. It has to come from a place of feeling proud of my choices and how that makes me feel about myself. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it!
Confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac! Unfortunately it is pretty alien to most of the women I know, including me. Having only gotten married in July, I think I definitely need to be following this blog.
Thank you for coming over and checking out my blog. Congrats on being a newlywed. You have a wonderful ride ahead of you. As for our confidence, it certainly is a shame that we don’t have more of it, but we can certainly change that. Working on one thing at a time. Changing one habit at a time. I look forward to hearing more from you and I wish you the very best in your marriage.
Ugh, I didn’t like this post… only because it was a little too close to home for me. 😉 I had a knee injury a couple of summer’s ago and then I got sick, so I haven’t worked out for a very long time. I’m just now getting back to it. And it does affect me and my husband’s relationship, but only because I let it. He doesn’t notice or care that I’m not as skinny as I used to be. I’m the one who sometimes turns it into a big deal. Thank you for the challenge and for being so honest.
You scared me when you said you didn’t like the post 🙂 Then I read on. Thank you for being so honest. It is hard to get back into an exercise routine. I started jogging again this week. It feels good to be doing something so good for myself again. The challenge is to stick with it. But we also need to lighten up on ourselves a bit too 🙂 We are blessed to have husbands that love us just as is. Would love to hear updates from you on how the workouts are going. Take good care and thank you for the comment.
I agree wholeheartedly and struggle, too. But there is nothing more sexy than confidence! Thanks for the reminder and the inspiration to workout today. Time to lace up the sneakers!!
Carrie 🙂
You are so welcome. I have laced up the sneakers twice this week so far and it feels great. Here’s to getting the confidence back!!!!!
Everything you wrote in this post is so true. It’s always nice to read that others are feeling the same way! I’m very lucky that my husband finds me attractive and appealing no matter what, and I could never be grateful enough for him. But I definitely agree with you that it’s about feeling confident in ourselves that makes such a big difference in how we feel. Lately I’ve been exercising regularly and eating healthy, and slowly slowly I’m seeing and feeling the differences…just have to keep it up, and thankfully I’ve got the best fan and supporter ever in my husband! I really love reading your blog – it’s so truthful and you write things I can relate to so much. Thanks for the thoughts, the advice and the motivation. 🙂
Glad to hear that you are on the road to feeling better about yourself. I am back onto the right track as well. I just feel so much better when I am making efforts to take care of myself. Keep it up!!! Thank you for the very kind comments.