This year, there are two things in particular that I wanted to focus on in my marriage.
1. Increasing alone time with my husband, during the week, without distraction.
Let’s face it. Hubby and I are busy. Running multiple businesses while trying to focus on the kids and health, and well… so much more, finding time alone with each other often gets put on the back-burner. Especially during the week.
We are pretty good about making some time together on the weekends, but we could go all week without making a good connection. Without having any quiet time without tv, computer or the kids, to check-in and connect.
Because of that, on the weekend we are constantly trying to play catch up.
My goal is to have some quiet one on one time, without distraction, on Wednesday nights after the kids go to bed.
I think by doing that husband and I will feel more connected and in tune to each other all week.
2. Work on communicating our expectations to each other.
What do I mean by this?
I have come to realize that some of our biggest arguments happen when husband and I have different expectations of the same event.
For example, parties.
In the fall, we have a lot of parties at our house. And, it seems inevitable that on party day, husband and I will argue.
This is often how it plays out;
In my mind, I expect husband to commit his day to helping me because I am overwhelmed with prep for the party.
In my husband’s mind, he can catch up on some sports, because it’s his one day off and he just needs some time to relax. He’ll get everything done an hour before the party.
His lack of helping on my timeline makes me crazy. And my constant nagging makes him crazy.
This also happens when we are trying to get out of the house for anything that has a scheduled start time.
In my mind it’s important to be on time. In his mind, there is no need to fret. He’ll get there when he gets there.
There is a definite pattern.
My goal for this year is to work on expressing our expectations before there is time for an argument to brew.
(By the way. Want to set your own marriage goals? Click below to get a free printable that can help!)
Imagine the morning of a party. Instead of nagging I say, “Sweetie, today is party day. Can we talk about what we would both like to get out of today so that we can work together to make sure that each of us gets what we want?”
Wow! What a difference!
Yes. This year I am going to work on how I communicate my needs and expectations to hubby particularly for getting out of the house for events or for parties at the house.
Sounds like such a small thing, but it can often be the small things, when not dealt with, that can build up to bitterness and arguments that can be damaging to a relationship.
This I know for sure.
So, as I gear up to tackle these goals of mine, I wonder what your marriage goals are. What would you like to improve in your marriage this year? Comment below and let me know.
Married and Naked