6. Let go of outcomes
This may sound counterintuitive to sex, but hear me out.
For me, a while back, at the very mention of sex I would start to feel pressured.
I felt pressured that I didn’t feel the same desire that my husband did.
I feared having another argument about sex.
And, for many women, a “happy ending” doesn’t always come easy. At just the mere mention of sex, they might start to feel a tremendous amount of anxiety regarding their struggles to find the big “O”.
And, of course, the more pressured and stressed you feel, the less likely you will be able to enjoy sex at all.
My husband and I decided to let go of the need for there to be any particular outcome. Sex doesn’t need to look any particular way.
The reality is, the most important part of sex ( at least for me ) is to feel connected to each other.
You have a choice.
Choose and vocalize what you want each individual experience to be.
Sometimes you may want to work at reaching a climax, and other times you may be satisfied just pleasing your spouse.
There are no rules as to what it has to look like.
As long as the two of you are connecting and you are both feeling satisfied, then don’t feel pressured to have it begin or end in any particular way.
And guess what? The minute that pressure of needing a particular outcome is relieved, you might be surprised how easy it is to chill out and enjoy yourself.
Relax and let go of outcomes.
Instead, focus on the connection with each other. You might be surprised at how easily focusing on that instead, can lead to a “happy ending” anyways.
Tammy
Married and Naked
Amazing advice!!!!!! Thank u
Thank you Steve!
Thank you so much tammy greene am not yet married but am planning to get married this year and i know if i follow these tips my marriage won’t be a mess thank you, thank you so much
You are so welcome
Great info published to my benefit
This is such great information even for long term dating couples. Reading this made me take a long breath for once and say, ‘I think we might make it’. This inspired me so much! Thank you!
Wow! Thank you so much for taking a minute to write that and let me know. You have made my day. I’m so happy to hear that you found the information helpful. That’s wonderful!
Thanks so much Tammy, really helpful
Thank you, this is really great advice!
Thank you. Glad you found it helpful!
“For men, sex is their way of showing love and connecting”
For many or most men, in my opinion, sex is their way of Feeling love and connecting.
Well said Mike!
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This (#6) sounds like a nice idea, but….
From my perspective (male/husband) I feel a little guilty, and disappointed (in my performance) if my wife doesn’t orgasm. From my wife’s side, I know she feels frustrated if/when she’s not able to climax. She does the vast majority of the time, but occasionally it just doesn’t happen.
I certainly can’t speak for women, but as a man, when we hear, “It’s ok honey, it was still nice….” we know that really means they’re frustrated and unsatisfied
Love hearing from the male perspective. Totally understand what you are saying and can relate in my relationship. I think the important thing to remember is that when that a woman’s body is delicate and complicated and that a whole bunch of things needs to be working together to help her climax. Yes, it can be frustrating for both parties, but it’s ok. Neither party needs to feel bad. The more pressure that is put on the climax, oftentimes makes it harder to do so.
All these advices mentioned have been my experience with my wife.
I want to thank you for the opportunity of making understand woman and the environmental matters a lot. Time slot for intimacy just something to try out us now.
Good advice and a nice reminder for us to tweak a few things we already knew but had let slip a little.
We could all use a little reminder sometimes 🙂